By Trevor Law
So I have been waaay too serious this week. Now I am going to make up for that and take a serious look at the Marvel Universe…where a man becomes the size of an ant and fights crime. That being said I’ll only be talking about Ironman, Thor, Captain America, Hulk, and Shield. I don’t really want to go into anything in phase three or in any other character because they are less interesting in this context.
Shield: Ok so there was a moment in Captain America winter soldier that drove me crazy. It may seem small but both India and China were on the ruling council of Shield. This would NEVER happen. China has its own goals and would never be interested in any military organization in which the United States was also a member of. India would be even less likely to join because of a long history of nonalignment. Joining Shield would pretty much shred that idea and change the entire nation’s policy to … everyone. Shield would most likely be an extension of Nato, with nations like Australia, Israel, Japan, and South Korea becoming members of it. It would be very unlikely to extend beyond nations that have a good relationship with the United States, and have a long history of mutual threats, and working together. Keep in mind that these would be nations required to give money to said organization. Imagine China, India, and the United States being willing to put money in a big pot and share the insanely powerful technology they get from it. The super solider serum by itself would be enough to kill a deal, let alone something like the tesseract, and this is crap that they get before it’s even founded!
One interesting thing that would come out of this would be a Soviet counter part to this. It would be opposed to Hydra and many of the same threats Shield would face, but have a different agenda in that they would want the Warsaw Pact to gain from it. Supposedly Agent Carter deals with this, but I have really not been able to care about that show.
While we are on Hydra, the world would freaking never…ever…in a million years trust Shield. To have such an organization be so totally infiltrated by super Nazis, given super advanced technology, and then nearly be conquered! There is no way of coming back from that and it would be the BEST case scenario that the remnants of Shield and Nick Fury would just be left to fend for themselves.
Iron Man: So get ready for your minds to be blown, but Tony Stark would not just be a conservative darling, but THE conservative darling. In the first Iron Man he builds a suit and starts hunting terrorists with it almost immediately. Granted he also got into a fist fight with another suit so it would take them a bit to warm up to him … something like … I don’t know, like being the biggest defender of the second amendment ever!? Iron Man 2 is basicly a fun version of Atlas Shrugged. The government tries to take his armor from him, then he stops a crazed Russian scientist from using similar technology. He is everything that Republicans would want to be. A billionaire who uses his wealth to make the world safer, while totally ignoring the laws and will of the federal government. Oh and let’s not forget he was proven right! Had he given his suit over to the government, freaking Hydra would’ve gotten it. Oh and lets not forget in Iron Man 3 … he saves the President’s life! Heck if he ran in the Republican Presidential primary it would just be a question of how quickly he would win, and that’s assuming he just came in a tux.
Captain America: This one might surprise a lot of people but Cap would be liberal … like … really liberal. First keep in mind that he was from the 40’s when the new deal was still alive and well, next since he is from New York, the home state of F.D.R. he would be even more hardcore into New Deal style economics. Furthermore he is very much anti-war, and against the national security state. He was not a fan of Nick Fury’s plans for the three Helicarriers and he reveled ALL of Shield’s secrets. Let’s see Chelsea Manning top that! It makes his next movie all the more interesting and makes me wonder if Marvel will actually be bold with it … no … no they won’t.
Thor: So this one would get…weird. Ok so first thing, ask yourself if you found out Zeus was real…I mean really real. Like walking around and saving people real. How would this affect your religious beliefs. Then find out he is an alien and that alien cultures have been affecting human development since the beginning of human history! Suddenly the worlds religions are thrown into turmoil. Was Jesus, or Moses, or Buddha an alien? Is Thor worthy of worship since he is the God Thor? Oh and a side note, Loki and Thor would both have cults springing up to worship them and it would be a problem since they would keep trying to open portals to Asgard. He would have the biggest impact by far on the world and combine that with the invasion of New York, the entire world would be freaking out.
Hulk: Hulk would be Hulk…I mean he destroyed Harlem, New York but all the superheroes have destroyed at least one neighborhood. At the end of the day he wouldn’t change much and there really isn’t a whole lot his existence would change in our day to day lives. With the exception that people would KNOW some kinds of radiation can give them superpowers. On second thought…that would be a big deal, what with all the stupid people trying to become the Hulk…
Also think about the ramifications of Thor, Avengers one and two, as well as Captain America: Winter Soldier. Gods are real, aliens are real. An A.I. can come to life and kill a country, and the one organization in the WORLD that should’ve been able to protect us was taken over by Hydra, a.k.a. super Nazis. Everyone’s beliefs would be in shambles, no one could trust anyone anymore, and the world would be in a defensive crouch wondering which city will be caught in the crossfire between superheros and Thor knows what! The real ramifications of these movies would be dark, scary, and frankly totally unpredictable. Wait…wasn’t this supposed to be fun? Dang it!